DID YOU SEE THAT HORNY COW?!

One of the things that amuse me the best in Uganda is the nature. Not a day has passed without me smiling at a chicken, a goat, at those weird-looking-man-eating marabous, and other beautiful birds of different colour and most importantly - the cows.

A horny cow would usually mean something else in a different context, but in this one - it literally  means a really horny cow.

The cows here are amazing! They have huge horns, which make you worry about your ass when you approach them. I was told by the locals, that the cows are not aggressive and won’t attack, but honestly - they are badshit scary!

Here are some pictures! You judge.

I was attending a very serious and important training in Mbarara. Halfway through the training I noticed the cows from the window!! Leaving the important event behind, I raced to the field, where the cows were enjoying the fresh grass. I didn’t care for the rain, nor the slippery soil. All I cared about - were the cows! Ah… the cows!! 

My colleague joined me in a while. He started telling me different fascinating facts about cows. Apparently I am the last person to find out that when the season comes for cows to get pregnant, they get on top of other female cows to “send a message” to the bulls that they are ready for… you know…

With this in mind, I remembered several occasions, where females of another species - humans, would get all over one another to impress the males. Come on, we have all seen that in bars. Girls making out with each other to impress a guy….

Well, next time I encounter that, I will enlighten the females that they did not invent the girl on girl action. The Ugandan cows did! :D 

Things that I've been told

People in Uganda are extremely nice. Culturally, they are very hospitable, caring and curious about the newcomers. I like that. However, differences of the expressions that are not appropriate in my society may actually be considered a complement here. Here are some things that were told to me personally. I didn’t take any offence, but thought it might be interesting to share.

Case 1. Hairiness

- What is that? Do you have a beard? Let me take one of the hair out! Hahahahaha, I am joking! 

Alright, my nation is genetically hairy. Sue me! 

Case 2. Weight 

Stranger: You are fat! Eat more so you can become bigger! Eat!

Me: Excuse me?

Stranger: You are fat! 

Me: Excuse me?

Stranger: Fat!! Big! Fat!

(this was happening when I was sitting outside, with a big bowl of rice and g-nuts)

Case 3. Muzungu vs. Chinese lookin’

- Hey, China!! China!! You are China!!

I don’t understand what that supposed to mean. I am… China! I should have one of those labels “Made in China!"

I understand that most of the times people were either thinking that I would appreciate the joke. I never did, but I had to be understanding of the culture of complements here. I wasn’t! I tried very hard for those words not to offend me, but they did!

These “complements" would haunt me forever!

Summer 2014

Summer of 2014 was the craziest, most adventurous and most amazing I had. As I am sure you noticed from my Facebook wall - I spent two entire months traveling. Instead of going home to see my parents, like good girls would do, I shut down my computer for good 60 days and wondered around!

I have never been the girl with brilliant logic. Instead of traveling to countries that are close to each other, I made an impossibly complicated rout around Europe.

Stavanger (NO) ---> Oslo (NO) ---> Rome (IT) ---> Florence (IT) ---> Venice (IT) ---> Den Haag (NL) ---> Amsterdam (NL) ---> Hamburg (GE) ---> Barcelona (SP) ---> Porto (PT) ---> Lisbon (PT) ---> Madrid (SP) ---> Athens (GR) ---> Fira, Santorini (GR) ---> Heraklion, Crete (GR) ---> Kampala (UG)

You see, not much of logic regarding my destinations.

I call my journey "4-day-traveling" as that is approximately how much I spent in each of the cities. Actually, sometimes it was way more, but it always felt I like I was staying in one place for 4 days, which is enough to get familiar, but not enough to get attached.

To be honest, I can never say which of the places I like the most. I gave it a thought -- and I have no way of picking my favourite. All of the places were magical in their own way. However, if I were to give titles to those places - here is how I would do it.

Best food - Portugal
Best view - Santorini
Most welcoming - Madrid
Most fun - Barcelona
Most expensive - Oslo
Most romantic - Florence (duh!)
Most calm and relaxing - Porto
Most unbelievable - Amsterdam
Most historically interesting - Athens
Place I would return to - Santorini
The most outstanding - Kampala

Traveling is amazing, but sometimes you find yourself wondering - where am I? Usually that was the question I asked myself within 5 seconds of waking up "Ok, where am I now?"

Although, once, when my plane landed, I couldn't understand where I was. I took a short nap in the plane, and I was a bit jet-lag from the flight. I tried to figure out by the language spoken in the airport. It sounded like Norwegian. Wait a second. Did I go back to Norway? Or am I dreaming?

I was really confused. It took me 10 minutes after washing my face and getting double espresso to realise that I was in Copenhagen. Ok. Capital city of which city is Copenhagen again?

Oh! Copenhagen! Danmark!

Wait a minute. What am I doing in Danmark?

It took me some time to really put myself together, and when I finally woke up - I remembered I was going to Hamburg to visit a friend.

This summer was really unforgettable. I managed to visit friends I hadn't communicated for a long time, travel with my brother, make new friends, learn and most importantly - enjoy life. I know it sounds very cliché, but I have no other way of putting this.

I realised a lot of things, one of which is the following: the more you explore, the more you understand that you have seen nothing so far! So, this summer I learned to love traveling. It made me obsessed about visiting new places. Now I am  impatiently waiting for my travels in South America. 

World Youth Day

The first day when you realise you're the part of the team is when you take a picture with the logo of your organisation. At least, that is what I felt very often.

Today is International Youth Day, and together with my Colleagues from Refugee Law Project, other NGO's and, of course, refugees and asylum seekers, we celebrated it by marching down the beautiful streets of Kampala.

Afterwards, we attended a football match between Refugee and Ugandan youth. I don't know who won, but the point is not winning - right?

Becoming religious in Kampala

As many of you know, I used to be hard-core agnostic. Ever since I was a little girl, I was raised non-religious. Although years of being bullied at school for one single sentence "There is no God" in church class, at the age of 23 I managed to stay exactly where I was. Religiousless.

My life has changed now. Even though the concept of God is still beyond my imagination and understanding, I developed a very unusual habit: I started to pray.

Every morning, the entire time between 8:30 and 8:55 I pray to God to survive the chaotic traffic of Kampala. I repeat the action from 17:30 to 17:45, as I rush home from work.

So far, my prayers are working.

My everyday accessory: a slightly-smelly but very useful safety helmet

Even though I don't pray out loud, I have come up with a song that I sing every day on the way. Along with my driver, we proudly sing the following lines, as loud as it can get:

Verse:
Laura: I'm gonna dieeee!
David the driver: You're not gonna dieeee!! (in tone lower, with his deep voice)
Laura: I'm sooo going to dieeeee!!
David: You won't dieeeee!!

And for the Chorus, the lyrics continues:

Laura: Maaaaaam!! I don't want to die!! I am still single and I have no kids. I can't dieeeeee!!
David: You will not dieeeee!!
Laura: DIEEEEE!!

To be honest, our little song attracts a lot of attention from the passers-by, other boda-boda and car drivers, etc. But I think at some point we are making them smile. Not every day you see a singing white girl on a boda, with a mortified face, with her arms around the driver, squeezing his guts and probably causing internal bleeding.

Every day, I pray before going to sleep that tomorrow would be less stressful on the road, but so far it's been the same chaos. I am patient this time.

Wish me luck, and, please, pray for me too!! 

Conversations that are just too funny

Ever since I arrived to Kampala, I have been engaged in conversations with different people about Armenia.

Most of the people that I have met have never heard about Armenia. Best case scenario - they know Kim Kardashian... I always get asked where Armenia is geographically located, if we are muslim or not, or how is it possible to have a population of less than 3 million. I enjoy those conversations, as they make me feel closer to home, despite the fact that I am on a different continent.

Once, I was talking to my Ugandan family about Armenians and the hair. I told them that we are probably the hairiest nation on the planet, and that our men have hair everywhere: on their neck, shoulders, arms, ears, etc (sorry for being gross). My Ugandan brother (who is 14 years old and naturally curious) looked at my arm, touched it with this index finger and said:

- You said Armenians are hairy. But you're not hairy.

I blushed for a bit. Then I quickly overcame my embarrassment and replied.

- Well, now I'm not. But they will grow in a while.

Looking puzzled, he thought for a moment and asked, sincerely.

- Is it like... seasonal?

I think I laughed for 15 minutes. I said:

- Em... no.

- Then what is it? - he looked as if he could't come up with any other rational explanation.

I think this was one of the funniest expressions I had heard in my life. I needed to share with everyone.

In Kampala

Hello, hello everyone!!

First of all, I want to apologize for not writing anything for the past months. I was busy enjoying life and I couldn’t quite finish any of the posts I wanted to write. 

I am back now, with tons of things to share!!

To start off, the charger of my computer broke and I didn’t have much access to my blog for the past days. However, a new charger should arrive soon, and there will be pictures and videos to share.

You probably all know that I am in Uganda. Many of you sent me messages with all kinds of concerns about my health, psychosocial well-being, or if I am getting enough nutrition, so I felt the need to write this post for everyone concerned about me.

I AM FINE!

I am healthy, I eat well, and there are no threats to my well-being. Thank you for your worries, but I am really doing great.

About my life right now: I live in a nice house with a local family who treats me like I am their family member. I haven’t met such genuinely nice people, who would be so helpful and welcoming. And I am saying this knowing that I am coming from a very welcoming culture myself. My family here is the reason I feel safe every day. Not safe in a sense that I would otherwise be in danger, but in a sense that in case I find a dead (or in worse case – alive) cockroach in my bathroom, or if there is a gecko in my bed – I know my Ugandan brother would take care of it (and then make fun of me for the rest of the week for being terrified by a cockroach that is “only the size of my middle finger”.

About that “muzungu” thing: For everyone who doesn’t know, muzungu in local language means “a white person” I now feel what it’s it like to look different than the majority, and I think I even understand how it feels to be black in Armenia. Although it is not a derogatory word, it’s still uncomfortable sometimes, but you get used to it. And when 5-6 year old kids wave to you on the street and then get shy when you wave them back – that’s priceless. There is one kid who lives in the neighboring house to mine, who runs and hugs me every day I come back from work. My heart melts a little every time…

About food: it is delicious. I gave up eating the “muzungu” food, and I am only eating local food. All day, every day. One of my favorite is g-nuts with matoke (mashed bananas) or rice, or the local fish sauce. I don’t think I ever ate healthier than here (yay me!).

About my friends: Other than the wonderful family I live with, I have some of my classmates that are also in Uganda. Although most of them are in Nakivale, and so far only one of them in Kampala – it doesn’t mean I am feeling lonely. I have never been better.

The nightlife in Uganda is awesome. I was ignorant enough to think that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to go out in Kampala. It has the nightlife I have never seen before. Well, maybe in Miami, or something… After all, there is no better way to spend your Friday night than going out.

The weather: it’s not as hot as I thought it was. Now it rains sometimes, but the rainy season is yet to come. Not necessarily my favorite, but after Germany and Norway I can survive any amount of rain.

The traffic: My biggest concern so far. It’s crazy! And not crazy in a good way, but in the most scary way possible. Too many cars  during rush hours. But the scariest thing so far is a phenomenon called the boda-boda: the motorcycles. They are the one of the most common used means of transportation. I have to take it every day to go to work and back. So, when people ask me how far I live from work, I reply “20 terrifying minutes away on a boda”. I remember the first time I had to take a boda, I wrapped my arms around the driver,  and screamed for 15 minutes till we reached the city center. Then I was worried if he had internal bleeding because of how tightly I squeezed him. I was terrified. But then I thought I would get used to it… I didn’t. I still mortified every time I need to get from one place to another. I am afraid I will never get used to it.

About the Armenian community: There are Armenians in Uganda (well, I was not surprised. We are everywhere). I visited a nice family to welcomed me with wide arms and fed my Ethiopian food. Yumms! Some others I will meet soon.

So far, the only thing I really miss is cheese.

 …And my family, of course.

To finish, I would just say – coming to Uganda was the best place to do my internship. I am learning new things every day, and this experience is priceless. Wonderful people surround me. The nature is absolutely amazing. I am happy.

If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them, so go ahead and ask.

Yours faithfully,

Laura